Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hmmmm......UPDATED AGAIN

A reader sent along this link to an article, written by a 27-year-old evangelical, that discusses 'The Perils of Wannabe Cool Christianity'.

UPDATE: There's a new article up at SavingOurParish.com that ties in nicely with the 'wannabe cool Christianity' theme.

UPDATE 2: Marie McCaig has responded to the article about youth ministry with a clarification. Here's the link.

30 comments:

  1. I enjoyed the YM article. I was once a Youth Minister in the Catholic Church (different diocese). When I got married and moved up to Corning 8 years ago, I was amazed at the youth ministry program - it was a true blessing to the parish and the community. As I started to get a little involved I then became a "Mom" and started to do a different kind of youth ministry.

    I was so looking forward to becoming more involved as I started to get to know the people of the parish and Marie. I was pregnant with my second child as it all started to fall apart...I still get sad thinking about it. Now I am just plain mad.

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  2. I read with interest "A Short History of All Saints Parish’s Ministry to Youth". Having been closely associated with Marie and her youth ministry, I found it very difficult to believe that she would have ever sent a letter out to parents without permission and authority from someone within the Diocese. The program was run with integrity and without a personal agenda. To imply otherwise attacks her credibility and trust of both the parents and the youths themselves.

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  3. I was one of the many lucky parents involved in the youth ministry program. I will never forget the many wonderful teen retreats. I feel blessed that all of my children and both my husband and I participated. What a loss to this community. There was never a more tight-knit group of parents and teens working together for the good of the parish. I am grateful that for over 20 years, many teens and parents were touched. There is no possible reason why this program was determined to be unfit.

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  4. Dean should have left well- enough alone. The kids had a phenominal program for many years. It's like everything else, you don't truly appreciate what you have has until it is gone! We took a lot for granted. A great loss that has left an unnecessary void in the parish.

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  5. My children were all involved in youth group and mission week and the retreats. We didn't have to force them to go because they wanted to be at everything the McCaigs did. I helped when I could and always admired how they could take a group of 150 teens and get them to sit still to pray the rosary, all the way through. When they met in the church the kids all would kneel at the tabernacle or they would get a friendly reminder to start over again. The kids were taught their Catholic faith without compromise.

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  6. I'm confused. If the letter Marie sent to parents was a point of contention with Dean, did he know that the diocese told her to send it? His beef should have been with Rochester. She had every right to write to the parents and tell them that she would be leaving. And WHY. I remember when I received the letter. I was in shock. I had to tell my daughters. They both cried all night.

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  7. Youth group and retreats, as well as the tons of other functions and activities, were never about the McCaigs. It was all about the kids and leading them in building their faith. All of the above mentioned were the tools. You are right. Try taking upwards of 200 kids, Catholic and as well as others, at a retreat and have them in the palm of your hand from Friday night thru Sunday afternoon. The McCaigs were never in the "spotlight" and didn't ever want to be. You simply could not ask for 2 more genuine and sincere people..and now look at the mess! Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and say "I made a huge mistake".

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  8. Perhaps my voice will be discounted, as I have recently returned to the church after almost 40 years. I currently serve in the parishes' Welcome Home ministry. I find it heartbreaking that these wounds persist without progress toward their resolution. With respect, the comments written here thus far, heartfelt as they clearly are, could have been written a year after the event, or two, or three. And here we are at year four. When do we unite in God's one church? Doesn't the Mass, each Mass, call us to do that? When does this begin to end? When are the agendas reconciled? How? Perhaps more effort is needed here.

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  9. We're into year four with the wounds because we still have Deacon Dean in charge. Sorry, bottom line is we need new leadership.

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  10. Dear Anonymous (who said...Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and say "I made a huge mistake". )

    I am not sure our Administrator would have been able to say those words and if he did, I am not sure if the McCaigs would have come back. You know the addage "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." The McCaigs have truly risen to the top and are doing something wonderful with their gifts...they have found their "open window." (Note: please do not read into the "God closes a door" section to mean that He did this to them.)

    More doors keep closing...we need to look, with the eyes of love, to FIND OUR OPEN WINDOWS! Or, perhaps we need to look for windows and see, if they are open/unlocked.

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  11. Some people just don't "get it". There is no reconciliation to be had. We all know where the problem lies and what the solution is. Sorry. but prayers and wishful thinking are not going to solve this problem-not this time. It's time to stop sugar-coating the problem.

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  12. Hmmm. How do I reply to 'Anonymous' when there are so many. Would someone explain to me the reticence to include names on postings? Why not own your feelings. To do otherwise brings out the worst in blogging. Where there is identity there is no responsibility.

    Anyway, my feeling is that the cost of being right is too high a cost when the future of our beloved parish is at stake. The animosity toward DD cannot possibly be worth watching the parish implode before our eyes. Can it?

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  13. Bill, I would suggest looking at some of the comments offered after the article on the role of the laity in the church. People and their family have been persecuted in different ways over the years when they publicly or privately (one on one with a staff person - like my situation) disagreed with a staff person. For those who cannot or will not leave active membership in All Saints, I understand the desire for anonymity.

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  14. Bill,

    Thank you so much for being able and willing to name yourself.

    As you know, it can be very difficult to name oneself in a small town where there are many intertwined social and family ties, and where lifelong relationships can be lost depending on what 'side' you are on.

    I think, slowly, we are seeing more people feeling comfortable using a name. Some will never be able to do that, and that's okay, if uncomfortable for those of us who desire a more 'accountable' forum.

    For what it's worth, those of us who put up the website went to Deacon Dean the day it went live. At this point, probably most of the parish knows at least four of the team members, as well as many more who are not formally on the team, but sympathetic.

    Deacon Dean has chosen not to engage on the website, and we understand that. This cannot be easy for either he or his family. And yes, prayers go up daily for all in this parish.

    However, I do take issue with your contention that it is the animosity toward parish leadership that is causing the parish to 'implode before our eyes'.

    The anger and frustration is being openly expressed for the first time in over four years. Many, many people have spoken with the leadership (and not just Deacon Dean), desiring a more open and accountable administration. It has not occurred.

    The parish is in trouble right now. No one is disputing that. What is of dispute, is whether the 'solutions' that have resulted in losing our churches and property are exacerbating the problems--problems that might still be solved without recourse to selling and destroying another church.

    At the least, the very least, there has been a shocking lack of transparency and accountability on the part of the leadership.

    I think everyone here, regardless of where they stand on the issues, are glad you are back after 40 years. God has obviously placed you here for a good reason. Please keep the parish--all of us--in your prayers.

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  15. Bill- You are truly welcomed home! Like family, we have missed you. I ponder your words and would like to add mine: Many people in this country believe that President Obama is doing a poor job. His job performance rating continues to drop. Even people who voted for him are suggesting that he was ill-prepared to lead this country. Every day in th emedia we hear people sharing their frustrations. Yet- I have never heard anyone saying that these people should be silenced; that they should not be venting or that they are "bad citizens" because they disagree with the leader of this great country. My point, it's OK for parishioners to be upset. Most all who comment on this site have shared that they have met with Deacon Dean or other staff members, sent e-mails, written letters...tried to be heard in many ways. This site is FINALLY providing a release for them, a means to communicate. A momentum is building that may bring about the change that the parishioners and the Church that we all love want and need. This is a positive thing. If I were Dean I would want to know what the concerns of the parishioners are. His job is to serve the parishioners- both the one's who are following his lead and those who aren't. He needs to find a way to relate to and to make amends with the later group.

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  16. To Marie- Nobody and I mean NOBODY ever believed that you ever acted out of line by sending a letter to parents. We needed to hear it from you and we needed to hear the truth. Thanks for clarifying that someone from the Diocese was on board but we all know you. It is still sad that you are gone but we all understand. See you at the FBI- looking forward to it! Let me know what you need.

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  17. Marie has moved on. Alene will too. Who would want either of them working in this environment. We were lucky to have them for as long as we did. They were the magnets that attracted kids, teens and families to the parish. Everybody was involved. Everybody was important. Look how things have fallen apart without their presence. Any attempts by Deacon dean to minimize, discredit or underestimate their value are an hallucination on his part.

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  18. Thanks for clearing up the infamous letter thing. It's water over the dam now but at the time it was a big deal with Deacon Dean. Now let's work on letters to send to Rochester demanding their attention. If we all send a letter or two a week, they can't ignore us. (Remember the court scene in Miracle on 32nd Street when the bags of letters to Santa were spilled on the floor?) Let's do it.

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  19. Marie was not open to Dean's suggestions. That was her problem not his. He tried to give her new ideas and she shot every one of them down. To some of us, we call this an act of insubordination!

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  20. An act of insubordination....Hmmm. You seem to post as if you know what went on in their discussions personally.

    As I stated before, I worked in Catholic youth ministry prior to moving up here. I was amazed at her ministry! It was attracting flocks and flocks of young people AND it was grounded in Catholicism. For once, the Catholic YM program was the one attracting kids from ALL denominations...welcoming EVERY young person.

    These "new ideas" you speak of, "Anonymouns," what were they? And, were they grounded in Catholicism? I have a hard time believing that if these "new ideas" Dean "suggested" truly were grounded in traditional Catholic teachings, that MM would dismiss them so quickly.

    I look forward to your responding post.

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  21. Deacon Dean (and others) needs to realize that sometimes the answer - even to prayers - is sometimes "no."

    Which is a double-edged sword.

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  22. Joanne and Teresa,

    Thank you for your thoughtful replies. I am so happy to be 'home'.

    I do want to press this issue of anonymity on the blog. While I acknowledge it as fact, and unlikely to change, I do not believe it healthy for the serious set of intertwined issues we are facing. The problem I see is that in typing to a piece of paper (figuratively), without identifying yourself as a person, it contributes to not seeing the other person. It gives privileges we would not otherwise take in normal discourse. It may encourage honesty, but often unfiltered with consideration. I think dialog is the victim. Venting, while fully understandable and purposeful, does not fulfill our human need for dialog and reconciliation. When we talk to a person (as opposed to a label) we are more apt to watch what we say, not a bad thing. It creates a pause for a different dimension of reflection, more likely to lead down a road of resolution.

    I know what you mean by intertwined families and relationships, but I see it differently as it relates to disclosing identity on the blog. It seems to me we are saying that in order to preserve relationships we should not disclose who we 'are' in our thoughts and ideas, particularly to, most importantly, those who matter most to us. I would ask if that speaks to the the nature of the foundation of the relationships. This is a difficult road for sure.

    To the person who responded to me that they have been intimidated for their speaking out, regardless of my point of view, I would stand with you with vigor. If that is occurring it is an affront to Christ. It does not belong in a community of faith. This is not a circumstance to retreat, but rather to confront. Let's walk hand in hand into that person's office and confront it for what it is, evil.

    I should disclose, I do not have a side. That said, I hear the strong feelings involved. But it's because of those strong feelings that I am for one thing, reconciliation. I want people to return to the parish, to simply come home, to come back. Perhaps it is too late, but if the Reformation, with it's legitimate grievances, has instructed us, the resulting schisms fracture in horrible ways. I believe that in each Mass, our most holy shared experience as Catholics, we are, each and every Mass, specifically called to unite. This does not preclude disagreement, but it does mean that the retention and nurturing of our community of faith be valued in its totality, as Christ instructs. I hear and internalize the struggle that has been (is) waged. Regardless of the frustration (which I clearly hear) I want it to be resolved within the parish, no matter that it mean even more frustration. The cost to do otherwise is just too high.

    I do appreciate the opportunity to express my views.

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  23. Whoever called Marie McCaig insubordinate should hang their head in shame. Obviously one who swallows Dean's deceit hook, line and sinker.

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  24. Marie McCaig demonstrates her honesty and integrity by revealing the source who advised her to write the "letter". Guess the Deacon didn't have everyone he thought wrapped around his finger. So much for the attempted insubordination defense. Now we'll see what else surfaces....

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  25. I don't want people to have to justify themselves by revealing their name. I am happy to see someone commenting on Dean from a different perspective because I too think there are some good sides to Deacon Dean even though I feel he has made serious mistakes. (I am referring to the heating) What's important is to see the problem for what it is and deal with it honestly and thoughtfully, welcoming comments from either side of the fence. No doubt we welcome you back Bill. I worry about "casting stones" unfairly but I don't see anything wrong with voicing disapproval and concern in a respectful way, with or without signing a name.

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  26. "Marie was not open to Dean's suggestions." Hmmmm. How many years did Dean have IN YOUTH MINISTRY when he came to us? How many years did Marie have in youth ministry when Dean came to us? How many youth came to weekly youth groups meetings at Guardian Angels parish where when Dean was Administrator there? How many youth were coming to weekly youth group meetings here when Dean came to us? Did Guardian angels have any annual youth retreats? If so, how many youth attended. We had annual retreats when Dean came to us and we always averaged over 100 teens. I understand if the youth group was not being run the way Dean would have liked to see it run, but teens were praying, living the Social Gospel, and evangelizing. What's wrong with that kind of youth group. Is it possible that Dean cannot accept that there are more ways to run a youth group than the way he would like to see it run? In the parish in which I grew up, we were fortunate to have two priests - a pastor and an assistant pastor. The pastor thought that youth group should be mostly educational. The assistant pastor thought that youth group should be mostly prayer and service to the community. The pastor surrendered control to that assistant pastor and youth group grew from 10 teens to 38 teens. We went on retreats, did service projects, helped at liturgies, worked with the younger kids, and so much more. The pastor - from the pulpit - thanks the assistant pastor for his vision and hard work and commended all the teens on their model discipleship. For a priest of 35 years to admit he didn't know everything and did not have all the answers taught us teens a lot about humbleness and humility. My heart aches to think what could have been if Dean could have lived that kind of an example for our teens. In the past we have had a bus full of our teens going to Steubenville. How many did Cory have this year? How come there is so much blindness in this area?

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  27. Thanks for your thoughts and comparisons. Some people need to be the "center of attention" and when they don't have it, they look for ways to make that happen. We had it all here. Great youth minister, and adult support staff 2nd to none, and, most importantly, youth who attended, grew and came to know God through the Commandments and the Sacraments. Isn't that what it's all about?

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  28. I had tears in my eyes reading Marie McCaig's letter. Marie reached out to my husband and I when she barely knew us. She gave me all kinds of stuff from Medjugorje and felt my pain when I could not have a child. With her help I went to Medjugorje because she put me in touch with the right person who could arrange it. She was there again when we had a tragedy in the family, reaching out just because she has a heart of gold. Her and husband gave us a picture of sister Faustina when we were just learning of Divine Mercy simply because they wanted to encourage our efforts in this devotion. I can not say enough of what a kind sweet person she is!! Saintly is an understatement. Lastly I have a question, I am wondering,if we have a child who is supposed to make confirmation, do we have to go through Cory?

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  29. Addison has a great confirmation program. Ray Lawson, who teaches at East High, coaches the Corning Hawks Cross Country and track teams, has staffed many all saints teen retreats and is a very humble and devout Catholic, teaches the Confirmation classes. It is a traditional program and very impressive. I'm sure he would be honored to assist.

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  30. Ray Lawson is a wonderful person and friend. He has staffed many of Marie's retreats and carries her values and integrity. Anyone would be welcomed into his confirmation program.

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